Saturday, January 10, 2015

Pope Proclaims Pictures Pass For Prayer

   
Pope Francis Saying GR@CE


 In a recent release to the press from the Vatican International Congress of Ecclesiasticity (VICE), the world was brought up to speed with Pope Francis’ latest religious revamp.  He stated in an e-mail in which he CC’d humanity, that in what he called a “DM” from G-d, he received what he refers to as his latest, “E-Piphany”.  Pope Francis in his infallible Holy Hipness, has declared that taking a picture of your food before eating it is a suitable replacement for saying grace.  He went on to further elaborate that not only is it ok to take pictures of your food with your phones (IOS and Android equally acceptable), but any type of handheld recording device can be used in lieu of saying grace.  The modern world KOFP’d (Kneeling On the Floor Praying) in response.  Early statisticians and anthropologists predict that this bold move by The Apostolic See will increase Pubescent Electronic Divine Offerings (PEDO) by at least 400%.  This is a huge leap in the pope’s current string of attempts to bring the 2000 year old religion into the 21st century.  In conjunction with this news, the pope also announced that the vatican will be releasing an app called, “GR@CE” (as of now available only for Blackberry®), where the pics of your now blessed food will earn you IP (Indulgence Points) which can be redeemed for forgiveness of a myriad of sins.  There will also be in-app purchases available in order to be able to buy IP with real currency in case you’re lagging behind your friend’s scores, but aren't particularly hungry.

No comments:

Post a Comment